Jesus freak

Ever had those moments where people give you that scrutinizing look that says "you are a freak"? Yeah, I have been on the receiving end of that look quite often this week. But somehow, I'm more proud than perturbed.

Apparently UOG is abuzz with "relationship fever". Couples are engaging in public displays of affection all over the place (Thank goodness none have found my spot!), students talk excitedly about the free flavored condoms passed out at the rotunda, and the English professors have even hopped on the bandwagon, assigning their students to conduct surveys regarding sexual activity and STDs. First, while in the bathroom, this girl asked me if I had a boyfriend. When I responded that I don't, and never had, she responded with the "freak" look and could not believe it: "What?! Why?! Never?! How?! Are you okay with that?!". I couldn't help but wonder why this person I barely know would take such an active interest in my love life - or lack thereof - and mind my business, when she was supposed to be doing her business. It was weird.

Next, I was given one of those surveys about sexual activity and STDs, and I had a difficult time answering. It's strange how random students feel comfortable handing it to you in the hallway and then unabashedly reading your answers once you hand it back to them. The first question was, "How many sexual partners have you had?" and I could not help but notice that "None" was not an option. When I asked about this, they gave me the "freak" look and said, "Oh, I don't know. No one else has asked that." I then proceeded to create my own option, and wrote in "N/A" for the rest of the questions.

Then, while walking to my spot, I was ambushed by a media crew, carrying one of those huge professional cameras to my face:

Girl: "Hi! Can I interview you about Blue Night?" (Note: Apparently, Blue Night is an all-out drinking party for all UOG students. It's at one of Guam's most popular night clubs, and I have heard it gets crazy.)

Me: "Oh, sorry, I don't know much about that..."

Girl: "Well! It's a good thing you ran into us then! This year's is at the Globe! It's going to be an awesome, huge parrrtaayyyy! So, you gonna go?"

Me: "Oh, uhm...I don't drink or go out. Heh."

Girl: "Well, you don't have to drink! Just come anyway for the party!"

Me: "Oh, I don't go to clubs. I've never been..."

(In an awkward pause, the entire crew gawks at me and gives me the "freak" look.)

Girl: "Woah! Why?!"

Me: "Uhm...my beliefs. But regardless, I hope you all have fun!"

Girl: "Oh, what's your name?" (and the cameraman has the camera pointed right at me)

Me: "Tabitha."

Girl: "Oh...I've heard of you...Okay, well thanks anyway. Bye!"

That last part got me worried. What DID she mean by that? Is it a known fact that I'm a freak? I went to my spot and contemplated as I watched the waves crash against the rocks and enjoyed my raisin bagel with cream cheese in peaceful solitude. 

Now, I've never been a Jamie Sullivan (Walk to Remember), but I never thought abstaining from those things was rare or different at all. I'm sure there must be others like me, who maybe just aren't as open in saying that they don't do those things. It saddened me to think that drinking, partying, and sex are commonly considered rites of passage in college life. However, I also don't want to ever give off  a holier-than-thou kind of vibe. It's difficult to be surrounded by those things, and not become numb to them. I've been around others while they drank and many of my friends are open about their active bedroom activities, but despite the exposure, I never really had the urge to conform. I also don't see it necessary to condemn them and start preaching up in their face. I trust that God will provide the right time and right situation to share. More and more, I'm learning what it means to be in, but not of the world (John 17), and sometimes just peacefully and openly abstaining can speak volumes more than scolding them about their lifestyles.

 I just pray that by simply living for Him, I can show others that having God in your life provides an even greater emotional high than alcohol ever could, how refreshing it is to be intoxicated with His presence and never have to fear a painful hangover, how being with Him in heaven one day will be THE biggest "parrrtaay" in all eternity, and how God's everlasting love is infinitely greater than anything you'll ever experience from anyone else. If that makes me a freak, then I guess I am. A Jesus freak. :]

Today's addition to the Happy List:

157. Cream cheese

158. My new baking pan engraved with the words "Homemade by: Tabitha Espina"