Love?

Today, I feel as though I might have bitten off more than I can chew. I need time to just...digest. 

I am home from yet another fantastic Wednesday Night Bible Study, and I am just in AWE of God's goodness, grace, and involvement in my life. I don't deserve it. The topic was "How do you know God is speaking to you?" and just look at my previous blog! Again, not arbitrary. Then, we began talking about finding your place within the church, and I have been praying for one of my friends, who is seeking direction on which church to attend and where God could use her best. I know the Lord will speak to her. 

But then, the Lord continued to show me just how much He cares. Tonight, my macho-man dad was brought to tears - and it takes a lot to bring my dad to tears. He admitted that he has been wrestling with my revelation of becoming a schoolteacher. Initially, he was not supportive at all, and a rift had formed between he and I since I broke the news to him. His words stung me and hurt me more than I can describe, especially since I have always been "Daddy's girl". He was angry, upset, and worried that I would "struggle financially" like he and my mom do on their teacher salaries. However, he said that the Lord convicted him of his pride, as well. He said that through this, he has learned to trust the Lord more, especially in provision and guidance. He ended by saying, "My wife reminded me that the kids are not ours. They're God's. And they are walking in Him and trusting Him, so I should trust too that God will take care of them. If they're following the Lord, I can't say anything." I could not believe what I was hearing! I had been praying that God would change my dad's heart, but I had not expected it to be that fast! Oh Lord, you amaze me. 

Okay, so I know I always jokingly refer to it as my "hippie class," but I sincerely do enjoy PY100 Personal Adjustment. I feel like I learn so much. For our first project, we were supposed to give up something or change something about ourselves for one week, in an attempt at self-improvement. People had some really intense topics! Some gave up various drugs, alcohol, severe coffee addictions, and staying out all night in bars and clubs. I have never thought of myself as sheltered, but I could not help but be shocked by some of my peer's lifestyles! Some of them were so heartfelt in their yearning for change, tears formed in my eyes as I listened. I wish I could say my topic was bold and inspirational, but it wasn't. I simply gave up staying up late, reporting on my attempts to sleep before 12am every night for one week. (Lame, I know.) 

But today we embarked on a new topic - one which I am quite oblivious about: LOVE. Having never had a boyfriend, I cannot say I am fully accustomed to normal teenage dating rituals. The topic enthralled me completely, as I love hearing other people's experiences, funny boyfriend/girlfriend stories, and my peers' general idea of what love is. Yet, the highlight for me is quite surprising, and even now I'm not completely sure what to think of it.

There he sat: brown, built, wearing a shirt that said "Chamorro Supremacy" and one of those expensive, authentic ancient Chamorro chief necklaces. The question posed to him was, "How do you show the people you love that you love them?" He answered something like, "Well, I tell them at least once a day that I love them and I also show them through actions, like helping and caring for them. I also love to cuddle. I also make sure to thank them, at least once a day, for being in my life." Of course, this made all the girls "Ooh" and "Aww" and even made some exclaim, "Your girlfriend is so lucky!" and "Do you have a brother?" Then, he continued, "And I don't know if everyone will agree with me, but there's also God's love. I believe you can see God in everyone, and by loving others, you love God." 

As the professor attempted to change the subject, the guy slowly raised his hand and in a voice as low as a whisper, he added, "Oh, and one more thing. I'm gay."

The class immediately became quiet. The professor thanked him for being open, but it did not deter from the fact that the class had grown uncomfortably awkward. At first, I was unsure what to think. Here I was, overjoyed that someone had brought God into our class conversation about love, but with that one confession, my view of my classmate had completely changed. I know that one of the biggest, most controversial issues in the Christian community today is whether or not to allow open homosexuals into church congregations. However, I found myself ashamed for quickly judging my classmate. Here he was, obviously loving the Lord enough to bring Him up in regular conversation, and yet why did we feel as though his words hold less weight, just because of his sexual orientation? Can a murderer not say and mean that he loves the Lord? How about a liar? An adulterer? Yes, we have all sinned and fall short of the glory of God, but yet why do we hold some people's sin against them, and continue to condemn them, knowing that we too have done things that do not please God? I know that many people say that such a lifestyle is an abomination to God, but I cannot help but remember that God loves each and every one of us, right where we're at, even in our faults, doubts, weaknesses, and sin. Although I don't condone his lifestyle at all, I understand also that I do not have the authority to judge and condemn him. If he continues to walk in the Lord, I pray he will be convicted to repent and turn from his ways. However, I truly feel it is not my place to judge whether or not his relationship with the Lord is sincere. Only God sees his heart. God is the righteous, all-knowing judge - not me. And although I may not approve of his sexual preference, I have no right or reason to dislike him. I always found it amazing that although God abhors sin, He still loves the sinner. These lyrics continually resounded in my head all day: "Words of compassion will cause a reaction when love draws them near..." I truly believe that the biggest mark of a Christian is Christlike love - one which is sincere, non-judgmental, bountiful, and embracing.

 This topic is still very new to me, and I cannot say I have looked it up extensively in scripture. However, here is a brief excerpt from the end of Francis A. Schaeffer's "The Mark of the Christian":

"A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love on another. (John 13:34-35) 

That they all may be one; as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us: that the world may believe thou hast sent me. (John 17:21) 

What then shall we conclude but that as the Samaritan loved the wounded man, we as Christians are called upon to love all men as neighbors, loving them as ourselves. Second, that we are to love all true Christian brothers in a way that they world may observe. This means showing love to our brothers in the midst of our differences - great or small - loving our brothers when it costs us something, loving them even under times of tremendous emotional tension, loving them in a way the world can see... Love - and the unity it attests to - is the mark Christ gave Christians to wear before the world. Only with this mark may the world know that Christians are indeed Christians and that Jesus was sent by the Father...All men bear the image of God. They have value, not because they are redeemed, but  because they are God's creation in God's image."

I look forward to hearing your thoughts... 

My day...

Daddy packed me this delicious beef stew!! Mmm....



So one of the coconut trees at "my spot" is bent in such a way that it creates the perfect little "seat"


Meeting Michelle at a cool little coffee shop 2 minutes from campus. Great blended drinks and even better conversation...

Today's addition to the Happy List:
153. Mom's and Dad's hilarious teacher stories